Kol Nidre Address
Lois Bruss, President
Temple Emunah, Lexington, MA
September 27, 10 Tishre 5770

Shanah Tovah and welcome.

When I was a greeter in the lobby on the second day of Rosh Hashanah, I was speaking with Karen, the temporary employee who was working at the welcome desk. She said, “This is such a nice place. Everyone is so happy to see each other. It’s like one big happy family.” I told her that feeling is what we are aiming for, and I was happy to see it was evident to someone looking in from the outside. I would now like to welcome the newest members of our family, and ask that you rise as I call your name so we can greet you personally.

Wendy Czarnecki
Jeffry and Meryl Post
Alexander and Anna Mikhaylova
Larry and Marit Menzin
Heidi Epstein and Jeffrey Marx
Melleta Marx and Joshua Fertick
Amy White
Katie and Andrew Cutler
Sara and Stephen Brown
Galen Williamson and Leah Nelson
Larry Coblentz
Melissa Warneck
Tanya and David Weinstock
Yelena Lembersky and Vitaly Slobotskoy
Bobby and Julie Shirazi
Karen and Alan Musnikow
Aliza and Samuel Guyer
Natalie and Eric Gornstein
Meryl Finkel and Joel Feldman
Laura and Stephen Blumberg
Jeffry Aronchick
Holly and Joshua Chessman
Lois and Dnald Condie
Marina and Joshua Bers
Yael and Eyal Dvir
Rebecca and Eric Eisenberg
Laura and Judson Pierce
Jennifer and Peter Gladstone
Leah Sugarman and Len Kardon
Marie Dieringer
Lori Rosenthal and Alan Ruttenberg
Jill and Matthew Tilem

I would also like to welcome Amy Zaslow as our Executive Director, and Ali Gerson as our administrative assistant.

A few weeks before I became president, my cousin asked me what a synagogue president actually does. I suggested she ask me again after I’d been in the job for a while. A few months later, a new synagogue president submitted a question to the United Synagogue President’s listserve. He said, “I see there are descriptions of many synagogue jobs, but no job description for president. Does anyone have one?” Another president wrote back and said, “At first I thought this was a joke, but after reading again, it appears you are serious about finding a job description for a synagogue President. If you can somehow combine an acceptance of pain with an abiding sense of humor (despite serious sleep deprivation) and appreciation for the positive attributes of trial by fire, you are well on your way to effectively handling the job of President. As for a description of Presidential duties, just think of it as everything that needs to be done for your shul that you aren't lucky enough to delegate to a trusted officer or volunteer, or wealthy enough to be able to afford staff to do. You should set an example for your congregants by attending every service, Adult Ed program and committee meeting possible where appropriate, meet regularly with the Rabbi and any other clergy, as well as officers and committee chairs, have a deep understanding of every issue, donate in honor of every simcha and in memory of every congregant's lost loved ones, be a fundraising genius, and dispense the wisdom of Solomon to all who are conflicted, especially when you are on duty in the "Complaint Department".

Yet another president responded and said, “The job description is simple. Just try to do the right thing.” And so, when I reflect on my first year as president, I can simply say, I have tried to do the right thing. If I have come up short, made mistakes, made decisions with which you disagree, I ask your forgiveness.

Last year, I described a method of looking at organizations called Appreciative Inquiry. This approach stresses peak experiences, best practices, and noble accomplishments. This year I’d like to take a few minutes to engage in an Appreciative Valuation, a process I use to give feedback.

First: What are Temple Emunah’s strengths and what impact have those strengths had on the congregation?

We are a community that really knows how to answer the call when a need arises.
• There were times this past year when I sent an email asking people to make a minyan, and over 20 people would show up. This year, we had a 10% increase in the number of people who came to minyan at least ten times.
• We were asked by Yad Chesed Charity Fund to collect tzedakah during Purim. We raised $3,291 in a few days, compared with $914 last year. This money went to feed the hungry, to pay rent or provide heating oil for those who were struggling. We also raised $10,000 that our congregation delivered to Israeli charities last winter.
• There was the Friday this past summer when we had no one available to daven the next day, and yet Friday evening and Shabbat morning, congregants answered the call and we had a wonderful service.
• There were times when it looked like we wouldn’t have enough kitchen volunteers, but people always come through to make sure the congregation, and B/Nai Mitzvah families, have a nice Kiddush.
• When increasing numbers of members were faced with job losses, the Social Action Committee, and Aubry Jaffer, created a Temple Emunah group on LinkedIn.com, facilitating the sharing of job information.
• We have 40 Sustaining Members who gave over-and-above standard dues, making it easier for us to pay our bills. This is particularly important this year since we have more members needing dues abatements.
• This past June, when the call went out for the annual Kol Nidre pledge, 58% of our congregants responded and we raised $115,000, almost as much as we raised last year.
• When our congregants are sick, lonely or bereaved, we make sure they have meals, rides, minyan leaders, or just a caring visit.

Temple Emunah excels in putting together innovative and meaningful programs. In fact, this year we won five Solomon Schechter awards. Our Pre-School and 10-for-10 Minyan Program won Gold Awards, our 55+ is a Silver Award recipient, and we got Honorable Mentions for our Glatzer Weekend and Israel’s birthday celebration.

A new program, Community Conversations, brought together approximately 200 people in small groups, meeting in the homes of host families. Our last meeting was held this week. We will soon begin to assess what we have learned. I can tell you that many people have told me that even if nothing else happens as a result of those meetings, they benefited from the opportunity to connect, in a meaningful way, with people they did not know well.

This year we also look forward to special events to celebrate our 50th birthday: History Weekend next month, our Glatzer Weekend with JTS Chancellor Arnie Eisen and Dinner Dance in December, a Makhaylah anniversary concert in March, a brunch to honor the founders in April, and many other special programs.

You may think this is ordinary, since it’s just what we do and what we have come to expect from each other. However, I can tell you, from what I see on the president’s listserve, that we really are quite extraordinary.

Question 2: What are the high leverage skills that our congregation can add to our repertoire and how would those skills impact the congregation?

It would be wonderful if we could expand our capacity to accept each others’ contributions, and to minimize each others’ mistakes. If you look around the room, there are many volunteers, along with our staff, who work hard to make this a vibrant community. I hope we can forgive each others’ mistakes: the email that went out a day late, a name that inadvertently got spelled wrong, a flyer that got posted in the wrong place. If we could be a bit more forgiving, we would make it easier to be a volunteer.

Question 3: What would I like to see more of?

I would like to see more connections across generations. Wouldn’t it be great if older members attended some Family Education programs? Wouldn’t it be great if some of our younger members attended an interesting 55+ program or got to know an elderly member, perhaps by offering to drive during our bad winter weather. This year, we will be starting a “Grandparent Program” in our school, where members with grown families will adopt a classroom and visit on a monthly basis, getting to know both the children and their parents.

I would like to see us reach out more to each other. This has both organizational and personal components. Organizationally, we will be creating new havurot this year to facilitate the process of building small groups within our larger group.
An important personal part of reaching out is overcoming what Garry Rosenblatt, writing in the Jewish Week, calls “Shul Shame, not knowing the name of a fellow congregant, someone you were introduced to at some point in the past and have seen regularly for months, even years.” As Gary describes, “The result, too often, is congregant avoidance — not initiating conversation and responding only minimally when spoken to, choosing instead to take on the Piety Position, appearing so wrapped in prayer, and your tallit, that you are oblivious to those around you.” So let’s give each other permission, this Yom Kippur, to re-introduce ourselves, to ask the names we’ve forgotten, to strike up conversation with those we should know, but don’t. The result will be a warmer, more connected community.
I would like to see more people volunteer, and I would like those who do volunteer to call and ask others to join them. Many of you may think, as I once did, that you can’t volunteer because you don’t have any special skills. So here are some of the skills we need:

• If you know how to put bagels in a basket, we need your help in the kitchen.
• If you know the difference between a weed and a flower, we need your help with landscaping.
• If you know how to use a telephone or go grocery shopping, we can use your help.
• If you know how to drive a car, you can help our Hineni committee.
• If you know how to read stories to children, we can use your help in Tot Shabbat or Simchat Tot parties.
• If you are handy around the house, we can use your help.
• If you know how to make lists and mail letters, the Bereavement Committee can use your help.

Most of these activities are short-term commitments, so I encourage you to contact me or the office and tell us how you would like to help.

Like all synagogue presidents, I would like to see our circle of givers expand and our level of giving increase. I would like to see 100% participation in our Kol Nidre appeal and to our Endowment fund. Whether you give $100 or $1,000,000, in cash or through a will, giving to the Endowment builds a lasting future for our community and lessens the reliance on dues. This year, our Endowment stands at about $3.9 million and contributed $12,500 to the 2009 operating budget. Next year, we hope the Endowment will yield $18,500. If you can’t afford to contribute to these funds, you can still contribute through purchasing Scrip cards to supermarkets, gas stations, department stores, and other retail stores. It won’t cost you a penny, and the synagogue will earn money.

What would we do if we had more money?
• We could give salary increases to our hard-working staff and Rabbis who didn’t get raises this year when we cut our budget.
• We could pave the parking lot, repair the Pre-School kitchen, and enhance our landscaping.
• We could redecorate the social hall to make it more elegant.
• We could purchase the soon-to-be-published Mahzorim to enhance our HH services next year.
• We could offer more adult education classes for free.
• We could give more scholarships to more children.
• We could enhance our kiddushim or even have free monthly congregational Shabbat dinners – we all know that a sure way to build a Jewish community is with food!
• We could hire a part-time synagogue nurse, as is the norm in Minnesota. A nurse could visit patients and shut-ins, help people with transitions from hospital to rehab to home, and be a resource to families.
• We could expand our use of technologies within our school and expand our website to include podcasts, distance learning and other educational methodologies.
• We could offer a training program for congregants to participate in a Bikkur Holim program.
• . . . and the list goes on.

Question 4: What wishes do I have for Temple Emunah for the coming year?

In the coming year, I wish more of us will experience the joy and rejuvenation of Shabbat; the special time when we can put down our blackberries, forget about the laundry, take a nap, and get back in touch with what is really important in life.

I wish that we take the time to enjoy our successes, and remember to thank those who help make them possible.

I wish that we continue to grow as a community, and that we continue to balance the need for planning the future with our ability to enjoy the present.

In summary, our strengths are the foundation for a bright future. Our ability to be caring, generous, innovative and resourceful will stand us in good stead for the next 50 years.

It has been a great honor, and a transformational experience, to be President of Temple Emunah. I thank you for the trust you have placed in me. Most of all, I thank you for all you have shared with me: your smachot, your ideas, your advice, and your friendship. As we embark on our next 50 years, may we go, together, from strength to strength, and may we be inscribed for a good year.

Gmar hatimah tovah.

To contact the President click here.